Triggers are a confinement…so to speak…to the injuries of your personal history. Triggers and defensiveness keep your world small and safe and immune to other’s experience of you. To pause and not react opens you up to being curious. For example your significant other has just said something inflammatory about you. You are ready to jump in and defend yourself. Instead you pause and take a long breath. You listen…to see if there is some validity… and you decide the best way to go forward. (this is a practice!) As you take a pause you have just opened up a space for conscious action that is empowering. What is your intention?! What is your desired outcome? You have that choice thanks to meditation and mindfulness. Your will has been strengthened and your mind has intentional power. You can distinguish what your work is and what is not!
Now imagine meditation as a way to quiet your mind. It’s like saying to someone….”Hey, be quiet. Let's walk in silence so that I can really experience being here now.” You have experienced inner silence and have learned to focus on breath to quiet your mind…. you can now hear the whisperings of your deeper wisdom. This wisdom comes from your true self and when heard will lead you to greater happiness and productivity.
When you practice meditation and mindfulness for awhile you don’t even need to set time aside with a chair and undisturbed silence. You can practice these art forms anywhere. For example…imagine you are attempting to do something that is challenging. Suddenly you get so frustrated you put it aside and give up. Now with the practice of meditation as a learned skill you stop and begin to breathe…noticing your breath…dropping into your body you begin to feel softer and less stressed. Your mind opens and you return to your project with renewed energy and creativity.
Mindfulness can be used anywhere…for example walking in a forest. You mindfully take notice of your breath…your movement as you walk along. You notice the sky and then you begin to notice the shapes of leaves…the various shades of green…the texture of the bark of the tree trunks. Suddenly a feeling of gratefulness comes over you for being alive and your mood gets elevated. There is a sense of being connected to the birds…the various animals that dwell there. Your thoughts become kinder and more generous and a sense of well being takes over…so simple…so powerful!
Mindfulness & Meditations
Meditation and mindfulness are one of the most valuable skills for healthy relationships with Self and others. Both help you to regulate emotions, sharpen your ability to focus and improve your desire for ‘self-care’. They require some practice but are really quite easy to put to use in your daily life. Once employed…you will experience great improvement in all of your endeavors… physical, mental and emotional… because they both build personal strength, purposeful intentionality and the ability to endure frustration.
These skills can greatly improve your relationships. You learn to know when you are triggered or reacting to whomever you are dealing with because you have learned how to tune into your inner world.